The Mystery of the Ever-Changing Dam: Ben’s Tale of Nothingness

In a riveting installment of “There’s Nothing to See Here,” Ben, our local dam enthusiast and self-proclaimed expert, continues to assure everyone that the dam at Camp Branch Acres has “always been in this condition.” According to Ben, the dam is as timeless as the stars, as sturdy as his arguments, and as immovable as his stubbornness. “Nothing has changed, folks. Move along. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about,” he says, as he waves away concerns with the same nonchalance you’d expect from someone shooing a fly off their potato salad.

However, some pesky documents seem determined to rain on Ben’s parade. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane to 2019, a simpler time, when the Trinity County Emergency Plan clearly stated on page 18:

“All dams in Trinity County are considered low hazard. They hold less than 10,000 acre-feet of water, and no loss of life is expected should any fail.”

Oh, how quaint! A mere five years ago, the dam was just a lowly low-hazard structure, incapable of causing any harm, even if it tried its hardest. Fast forward to 2024, and suddenly, the dam is classified as high risk, with the threat of loss of life and property damage looming over us like a summer storm cloud that just won’t blow over.

“This dam is classified as a high hazard dam due to multiple residential homes
located between the dam and Lake Livingston, approximately 1,200-feet
downstream of the dam. This is enough to warrant a high hazard classification
for this dam.
It should be noted that the hazard classification is not a description of the
condition of the structure, but rather, a description of the potential for loss of
downstream life or property in the event of a failure of the dam. The high
hazard classification indicates that some potential for loss of life exists.”

So, what changed? According to Ben, absolutely nothing. In Ben’s world, the dam is like a fine wine—consistent, unchanging, and always underappreciated. He insists that any concerns are just overblown hysteria from people who don’t understand the true nature of dams. After all, why should we listen to experts, documents, or reality when we have Ben to tell us the dam is fine?

Perhaps we’re all just imagining the increased risks. Maybe the dam has always had a “high risk of loss of life” sign, and we just didn’t notice it until now. Or perhaps the ground under the dam has always shifted just so, threatening to turn a lazy pond into a full-blown flood zone. Who can really say?

But one thing’s for sure: Ben will continue to assure us that nothing has changed, that we’re all overreacting, and that the dam is as safe as a squirrel’s nest in a hurricane. Meanwhile, the rest of us might want to start looking into flood insurance, just in case Ben’s serene “nothing to see here” mantra doesn’t hold water—literally.

In the end, it’s a matter of perspective. Do you trust the documents, the experts, and the new, more concerning classifications? Or do you trust Ben, who’s sure that the dam is just as safe as it was back in 2019, when nobody even thought twice about it? As for us, we’re just hoping that when the next storm comes, Ben’s faith in the dam’s unchanging nature is stronger than the dam itself.