Category: Not Kidding
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Welcome to Dead Man’s Curve: A Halloween Treat Gone Horribly Wrong!
Camp Branch Acres residents, get ready for a spine-tingling experience this Halloween season, but not from ghosts or goblins—no, the real fright comes from the latest architectural wonder that has transformed our charming neighborhood into a vehicular nightmare. What was once a festive spot for scarecrows, pumpkins, and Instagram-worthy moments is now the scene of…
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Letters to the Editor – September 2024
We’ve received several emails sent to publicinfo@campbranchacres.org and we’re taking this opportunity to answer a few of the most frequently asked questions in this edition of our Letters to the Editor section. Many of these emails came anonymously, others asked to remain anonymous. We have made our own nicknames for the authors of these letters.…
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CALLING ALL VOLUNTEERS: THE GREAT CAMP BRANCH ACRES MAILBOX PROJECT!
CALLING ALL VOLUNTEERS: THE GREAT CAMP BRANCH ACRES MAILBOX PROJECT! Hold on to your hats, residents of Camp Branch Acres! We’re rallying the troops for a project so monumental, so immense, that it will take the might of our entire community to bring it to fruition. What’s that, you ask? Oh, just the small matter…
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Reason to Remove Kelle #5 -Acting Without Consent: New Legal Entity Created for Community Association
In a move that has raised serious concerns, two board members of our unincorporated nonprofit association have taken it upon themselves to form a new nonprofit corporation without the vote or consent of the community they represent. This is yet another example of Kelle and Kelly deciding for everyone else what they believe is best,…
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Step Right Up, Place Your Bets! The Fundraising Committee’s “Anything Goes Gala!”
Step right up, folks! Place your bets and get ready for the grandest, most dazzling, can-you-believe-it charity extravaganza this side of Texas! Well, hold on to your hats, because what we’ve got here ain’t your run-of-the-mill charity event. No sir, this here is the Fundraising Committee’s “Anything Goes Gala!”—where the rules are made up, and…
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Chasm Chronicles: The Hole Saga Ends (But Not Thanks to You-Know-Who)
Carlisle, TX — In an exhilarating development for suspension systems and local sobriety checkpoints alike, the infamous car-swallowing chasm on High Line Road has been upgraded from a terrifying abyss to a mere uneven patch. And while it’s not quite ready for parade floats or spontaneous drag races, in a genuine emergency (like spotting a…
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Reason #3: Kelle Rahm – Not A Verified Property Owner
It’s no secret that Kelle Rahm, the self-proclaimed sole Decision Maker of the Camp Branch Acres POA, has stirred her fair share of controversy. But recently, a peculiar detail about her leadership qualifications came to light: she may not even be a property owner. According to the local appraisal district, Kelle Rahm is not a…
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Reason #2 Kelle Must Be Removed – Gross Negligence and Incompetence
Reason #2: Gross Negligence in Ensuring a Safe and Secure Environment When it comes to leadership, negligence can be just as damaging as malice. Unfortunately, Kelle’s handling of the road washout and subsequent FEMA involvement has demonstrated a worrying level of incompetence that places our entire community at risk. Four Months, Two Bids, Zero Progress…
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#1 Reason to Remove Kelle – Violating Voting Rights of Property Owners
I write to bring to your attention a serious matter concerning the recent voting process for the road project held on August 24, 2024. As many of you are aware, ballots were distributed to property owners without the option to vote by proxy. This action is not only a violation of the rights of the…
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When Power Grabs and Google Gaffes Collide: The Curious Case of Kelle Mahme and Pedantic Phil
In the latest drama unfolding in the storied community of Camp Branch Acres, we’ve been treated to a spectacular show of legal missteps, power grabs, and a dash of Google-fueled pedantry. At the heart of this tale are two of our most notorious characters: Kelle Mahme, the aspiring dictator with a flair for backfiring schemes,…
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Kelle’s Texas-Sized Power Trip: Trying to Boot Board Members and Trample on Independence
In a move that smacks more of authoritarian overreach than the independent spirit that defines the Lone Star State, Kelle, the self-proclaimed President of the Camp Branch Acres Property Owners Association, has taken it upon herself to try to force two board members off the board. Yes, you heard that right. In Texas, the land…
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Who We Are
Who We Are: Camp Branch Acres Advocates We are a group of property owners who have cherished Camp Branch Acres for years, witnessing the beauty and camaraderie that once defined this community. However, in recent years, we have observed a troubling shift in the character of our beloved neighborhood. What was once a close-knit community,…
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Dan Watts / Kelle Account Suspended for Link to Hacking Attempts
Posted to the Facebook group by Nurse Ratched on 8-11-2024 “We take the safety and security of our community very seriously. It has come to our attention that a recent post by Dan Watts contained the following message: “Fun fact: Did you know there are hack challenge sites out there that you can get the…
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Kelle Can’t Hack It
(Literally and Figuratively) Camp Branch Acres – In a classic case of irony, the community is abuzz with whispers that the upcoming “executive session” is less about addressing the real issues facing Camp Branch Acres and more about removing Nurse Ratched from her role in running the CBAPOA.ORG website. Nurse Ratched has donated and maintained…
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Updated 8-18-2024 Cody’s Web of Lies: Police Report Reveals Truth Behind the “Tennis Ball Terrorist”
The case that was closed in 23 minutes. In any community, transparency and truthfulness are critical for maintaining trust and fostering a sense of security among residents. Recently, our community was shaken by an alleged act of vandalism against Cody Yawn, a well-known figure in Camp Branch Acres. Cody’s dramatic social media posts painted a…
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Hidden Heartaches and a Dam Good Idea
Well, I gotta say, when good ol’ Ben bought that place on the little lake, it sure looked like a dream come true, I’m sure. You know, a nice piece of water, some peace and quiet, and maybe a few fish to catch now and then. But, man, did that dream come with some hidden…
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The Road Vote and Missing Proxy Option
(This is reposted from an informative email) Dear Camp Branch Acres Community, As we prepare to vote on the critical issue of funding the road repairproject, I urge everyone to consider the significant benefits ofapproving this initiative and to reflect on the concerning removal ofthe proxy vote option from this ballot. Why We Must Vote…
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Throwback Thursday with Redneck Robby: The Little Lake Purchase that Almost Was.
Howdy, y’all! It’s Redneck Robby here, and I’ve got a tale from back in the day that’s perfect for Throwback Thursday. Now, listen up, ’cause this one’s a doozy. So, a few years ago, our POA board was kickin’ around the idea of buyin’ the property with the little lake on it. I tell ya,…
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Leadership: It Went From Bad to Pathetic in Camp Branch Acres
The leadership in Camp Branch Acres has hit a new low, epitomized by the actions and demeanor of Kelle Rahm, the head and chairwoman of the board of directors of the Camp Branch Acres POA. Despite the expectations that come with her position, Kelle Rahm has displayed a shocking lack of professionalism and respect for…
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Kody (Yawn) – It’s All About Him
Boy am I glad Kody was elected to the board. He obviously is always just interested in helping others out. <— That was sarcasm, for those unaware. Kody lost, again, and was thankfully not put on the board. Kody would never try to make a buck off of a disaster that has hit this community…
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About the Damn Dam
Trinity County, TX – Recent inspections of the Camp Branch Acres Dam have highlighted significant concerns regarding its maintenance and lack of maintenance by its owner, which may have contributed to damages during the April floods. Moreover, a miscommunication with residents bordering the little lake led to widespread confusion and concern about the lake being…
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Proxy Vote Tutorial
In any democratic organization, ensuring that every member’s voice is heard is paramount. This principle is at the heart of the Camp Branch Acres Property Owner’s Association (POA). However, recent concerns have been raised about the use of proxy voting, with some members fearing it might undermine the integrity of our electoral process. In reality,…
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Camp Branch Acres – Heaven in Texas
Camp Branch Acres is a very nice place. We have a community where, for the most part, people help each other. It’s like a family. And, like a family there are some nut jobs, some sociopaths, and some people you wouldn’t want to invite for Thanksgiving. The majority of people are caring, giving, wonderful folks.…