Category: Commentary
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Welcome to Dead Man’s Curve: A Halloween Treat Gone Horribly Wrong!
Camp Branch Acres residents, get ready for a spine-tingling experience this Halloween season, but not from ghosts or goblins—no, the real fright comes from the latest architectural wonder that has transformed our charming neighborhood into a vehicular nightmare. What was once a festive spot for scarecrows, pumpkins, and Instagram-worthy moments is now the scene of…
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Letters to the Editor – September 2024
We’ve received several emails sent to publicinfo@campbranchacres.org and we’re taking this opportunity to answer a few of the most frequently asked questions in this edition of our Letters to the Editor section. Many of these emails came anonymously, others asked to remain anonymous. We have made our own nicknames for the authors of these letters.…
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Reason to Remove Kelle #6 – Habit of Making Decisions Without Required Votes
Kelle Rahm’s Reign of One-Woman Rule: Decisions You Never Voted On (But She Did!) Hey, remember when we all had that great discussion at the board meeting about proxy votes and whether they should be allowed? Or that riveting debate about whether or not board meetings should be recorded? And who could forget the amazing…
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CALLING ALL VOLUNTEERS: THE GREAT CAMP BRANCH ACRES MAILBOX PROJECT!
CALLING ALL VOLUNTEERS: THE GREAT CAMP BRANCH ACRES MAILBOX PROJECT! Hold on to your hats, residents of Camp Branch Acres! We’re rallying the troops for a project so monumental, so immense, that it will take the might of our entire community to bring it to fruition. What’s that, you ask? Oh, just the small matter…
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Reason to Remove Kelle #5 -Acting Without Consent: New Legal Entity Created for Community Association
In a move that has raised serious concerns, two board members of our unincorporated nonprofit association have taken it upon themselves to form a new nonprofit corporation without the vote or consent of the community they represent. This is yet another example of Kelle and Kelly deciding for everyone else what they believe is best,…
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Step Right Up, Place Your Bets! The Fundraising Committee’s “Anything Goes Gala!”
Step right up, folks! Place your bets and get ready for the grandest, most dazzling, can-you-believe-it charity extravaganza this side of Texas! Well, hold on to your hats, because what we’ve got here ain’t your run-of-the-mill charity event. No sir, this here is the Fundraising Committee’s “Anything Goes Gala!”—where the rules are made up, and…
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Chasm Chronicles: The Hole Saga Ends (But Not Thanks to You-Know-Who)
Carlisle, TX — In an exhilarating development for suspension systems and local sobriety checkpoints alike, the infamous car-swallowing chasm on High Line Road has been upgraded from a terrifying abyss to a mere uneven patch. And while it’s not quite ready for parade floats or spontaneous drag races, in a genuine emergency (like spotting a…
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Reason to Remove Kelle #4 – Fraudulent Fundraising On Her Watch (Updated 9-11-24).
Fraudulent Fundraising at Camp Branch Acres: A Tale of Independence and Misadventure In the tranquil yet treacherously pot-holed paradise of Camp Branch Acres, the annual POA meeting, cunningly masqueraded as a “charity” event, unfolded with all the drama and intrigue of a badly scripted reality TV show. Spearheaded by the notorious trio, Backtrack Paola, Kody…
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Reason #3: Kelle Rahm – Not A Verified Property Owner
It’s no secret that Kelle Rahm, the self-proclaimed sole Decision Maker of the Camp Branch Acres POA, has stirred her fair share of controversy. But recently, a peculiar detail about her leadership qualifications came to light: she may not even be a property owner. According to the local appraisal district, Kelle Rahm is not a…
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Pave the Way Forward: Camp Branch Acres Road Work Clinic
Greetings, residents of Camp Branch Acres! This Saturday, we’re rolling out an exciting opportunity for the able-bodied and enthusiastic members of our community: the inaugural Road Work Clinic. It’s a perfect chance for those who’ve focused on community politics, victimhood theater, or social debates to channel their energy into something tangibly beneficial—road repair! Event Insights:…
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Reason #2 Kelle Must Be Removed – Gross Negligence and Incompetence
Reason #2: Gross Negligence in Ensuring a Safe and Secure Environment When it comes to leadership, negligence can be just as damaging as malice. Unfortunately, Kelle’s handling of the road washout and subsequent FEMA involvement has demonstrated a worrying level of incompetence that places our entire community at risk. Four Months, Two Bids, Zero Progress…
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50 Ways to Remove the Chairwoman
This article marks the beginning of a series dedicated to thoroughly examining the numerous reasons why Kelle Rahm should step down or be removed from the board of the Camp Branch Acres Subdivision Property Owners Association. In the lead-up to the next meeting, we’ll delve into an extensive list of illegal actions, embarrassing missteps, and…
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Updated: Taco Bueno Turned Out to be No Bueno, But McAlister’s is Very Bueno!
Updated 8/29/2024: I always love it when something good comes out of something gone wrong. In a huge win for Livingston, it’s been discovered that McAlister’s Deli will be taking the place of the not so upscale Taco Bueno. With a menu like this, it’s all good! https://www.mcalistersdeli.com/menu Also on it’s way to Livingston is…
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When Power Grabs and Google Gaffes Collide: The Curious Case of Kelle Mahme and Pedantic Phil
In the latest drama unfolding in the storied community of Camp Branch Acres, we’ve been treated to a spectacular show of legal missteps, power grabs, and a dash of Google-fueled pedantry. At the heart of this tale are two of our most notorious characters: Kelle Mahme, the aspiring dictator with a flair for backfiring schemes,…
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Kelle’s Texas-Sized Power Trip: Trying to Boot Board Members and Trample on Independence
In a move that smacks more of authoritarian overreach than the independent spirit that defines the Lone Star State, Kelle, the self-proclaimed President of the Camp Branch Acres Property Owners Association, has taken it upon herself to try to force two board members off the board. Yes, you heard that right. In Texas, the land…
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Who We Are
Who We Are: Camp Branch Acres Advocates We are a group of property owners who have cherished Camp Branch Acres for years, witnessing the beauty and camaraderie that once defined this community. However, in recent years, we have observed a troubling shift in the character of our beloved neighborhood. What was once a close-knit community,…
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Desperate Dictator: What’s Coming Next?
Attention, Camp Branch Acres residents! The battle is far from over. Our beloved leader, Kelle Mahme, is not one to surrender her iron grip on the reins of power so easily. As the self-appointed queen of “her” community, she has fought tooth and nail to keep Jerry O’Toole’s road plan from seeing the light of…
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Finger-Pointing or Felonies? Nurse Ratched’s Cybersecurity Drama Unpacked
Attention, Camp Branch Acres Property Owners! Buckle up, because this one’s a doozy. Nurse Ratched has graced us with a Facebook post that’s packed with so much critical information, you might need a flowchart just to keep up. It’s a tale of hacking, FBI complaints, and the type of drama that only Camp Branch Acres…
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The Mystery of the Ever-Changing Dam: Ben’s Tale of Nothingness
In a riveting installment of “There’s Nothing to See Here,” Ben, our local dam enthusiast and self-proclaimed expert, continues to assure everyone that the dam at Camp Branch Acres has “always been in this condition.” According to Ben, the dam is as timeless as the stars, as sturdy as his arguments, and as immovable as…
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A Big Thanks to Theresa Troll for Her Electrifying Speech at the Q&A
Camp Branch Acres was honored this week to witness Theresa Troll’s brilliant oration during the Q&A session, where her rallying cry of “We have the power!” echoed through the room like a thunderbolt. With the fervor usually reserved for her ‘artistic’ beautification projects that somehow never catch on, Theresa took the floor and delivered a…
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Lots of Questions, Minimal Answers
In a scene that could only be described as a masterclass in procrastination and misinformation, the latest community Q&A meeting showcased the true art of doing nothing while pretending to do something. Kelle, ever the queen of delay, began the session with her usual flair—spouting off numbers that seemed as reliable as a used car…
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Kelle Can’t Hack It
(Literally and Figuratively) Camp Branch Acres – In a classic case of irony, the community is abuzz with whispers that the upcoming “executive session” is less about addressing the real issues facing Camp Branch Acres and more about removing Nurse Ratched from her role in running the CBAPOA.ORG website. Nurse Ratched has donated and maintained…
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Hidden Heartaches and a Dam Good Idea
Well, I gotta say, when good ol’ Ben bought that place on the little lake, it sure looked like a dream come true, I’m sure. You know, a nice piece of water, some peace and quiet, and maybe a few fish to catch now and then. But, man, did that dream come with some hidden…
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The Bylaws Shuffle: When Missing Pages and Missing Logic Go Hand in Hand
In the latest thrilling episode of “Bylaws Shenanigans at Camp Branch Acres,” our esteemed chairman has managed to achieve something truly remarkable: uploading a document that’s as incomplete as it is confusing. Yes, dear neighbors, the bylaws have made their grand appearance online—minus a couple of critical addendums, of course. We’re talking about the May…
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The Misadventures of Hypocrite Heather: A Tale of Misunderstood Free Speech
Heather, known in Camp Branch Acres as “Hypocrite Heather,” has established herself as a vocal advocate for free speech—at least, when it serves her interests. However, her understanding of this right is deeply flawed, exposing her hypocrisy at every turn. Heather’s tumultuous interaction with the current Facebook group began with an incident involving her husband,…
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Dudley Dumbass Proposes Facebook Muzzle for Official Camp Branch Acres Facebook group
Ah, Dudley Dumbass, your Canadian upbringing must have left you a bit out of touch with how we handle free speech here in the land of the free. Sure, let’s give Kelle Mahme the perfect tools all fascists dream of: a platform to decree from on high without the pesky nuisance of discussion. I know…
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Theresa Troll and the Tale of the Temporary Road: A Paul Harvey Inspired Satire
“And now, for the rest of the story…” Good morning, Camp Branch Acres. If you were tuned into your community’s Facebook group, you might have seen a rather enlightening exchange concerning the heroic efforts of our 356 Volunteer Fire Department. And, as always, in the midst of real concern and genuine heroism, Theresa Troll couldn’t…
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Leadership: It Went From Bad to Pathetic in Camp Branch Acres
The leadership in Camp Branch Acres has hit a new low, epitomized by the actions and demeanor of Kelle Rahm, the head and chairwoman of the board of directors of the Camp Branch Acres POA. Despite the expectations that come with her position, Kelle Rahm has displayed a shocking lack of professionalism and respect for…