Ah, Little Lake. It’s the crown jewel of Camp Branch Acres (besides Lake Livingston)—a place for fishing, relaxing, and, for some, a key survival resource for when the world inevitably spirals into chaos. But before we go imagining Little Lake as the pure, tranquil oasis of our dreams, let’s take a step back in time to when it was under the ownership of a more colorful character—Jesse James Johnson.
Yes, that Jesse James Johnson. Not the legendary Wild West outlaw, but a local antihero with a rap sheet longer than some of the “fishing tales” spun around the shores of this beloved lake. Jesse’s passion for collecting controlled substances wasn’t exactly a hobby; it was more of a career—manufacturing and distributing the kind of pharmaceuticals that get people acquainted with federal agencies, like the DEA. And as fate would have it, his scenic Little Lake property was seized by the government, presumably during one of those inconvenient moments when they frown upon meth labs hidden among the pines.
Now, flash forward to the present day, and Little Lake is under new ownership, far removed (or so we’re told) from its shady past. The Stubbs family took ownership for a bargain sales price, and like a mystical cleansing ritual, the past was washed away—though no one’s quite sure if the lake itself got the same treatment.
Here’s the thing about lakes once associated with, shall we say, “chemical engineering”: There’s a lot more in the water than just fish. Meth production is infamous for producing all sorts of delightful byproducts—stuff you probably wouldn’t want in your swimming hole or your survivalist homestead drinking water. Which brings us to the burning question no one seems to be asking (probably because it’s inconvenient for their survivalist fantasies): Has anyone bothered to check the water quality of Little Lake lately?
Because from where we’re sitting, surrounded by folks eagerly proclaiming that the lake or its dam “absolutely” had nothing to do with recent flood damage— from people who know nothing about dams —it seems that critical thinking has taken a backseat to the allure of fishing, kayaking, and Instagram-worthy sunsets.
But let’s humor the idea that Little Lake is still as pristine as a mountain spring. The residents are rallying around it, claiming it as a safe haven for fishing and recreation. Some even eye it as a potential water source should the apocalypse hit (complete with MREs, beans, bullets, band-aids, and conspiracy theories, of course). Forget FEMA or Red Cross—when TSHTF, it’s Little Lake or bust! And, well, some eye the lake as a potential acquisition for the association.
One small problem: Has anyone taken a water sample? You know, just to make sure we’re not one sip away from an impromptu Breaking Bad reboot?
Because as a privately owned body of water, we can’t imagine routine checks for contaminants have exactly been on the community to-do list. After all, if the dam inspections and recommendations can be ignored, then water quality is a non-issue, right? Even if this could explain why that cow was so skinny, or where the bees went to. But hey, if you catch a fish with three eyes, that just means more bang for your buck?
Now, we get it. Nostalgia runs deep in Camp Branch Acres. Nobody wants to admit that their serene, peaceful Little Lake might have a murky past—or present, for that matter. But maybe, just maybe, before touting its potential as a life-sustaining resource and family outing locale, it’s worth asking a few questions. Like, has anyone tested the water in the last 10 years? Or ever?
So, Camp Branch Acres, next time you cast your line into the shimmering waters of Little Lake, take a moment to reflect. Sure, the surface may seem calm, but who knows what’s lurking beneath?
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