Kelle Rahm’s Reign of One-Woman Rule: Decisions You Never Voted On (But She Did!)
Hey, remember when we all had that great discussion at the board meeting about proxy votes and whether they should be allowed? Or that riveting debate about whether or not board meetings should be recorded? And who could forget the amazing dialogue we had about creating a brand spanking new nonprofit corporation in our name? Oh, wait—that’s right! None of these discussions ever happened. Instead, decisions were made by decree, courtesy of our very own One-Woman Show, Kelle Rahm.
Let’s take a look at some of her more remarkable decisions—none of which required your input, naturally:
1. Proxy Votes? Disappeared Without a Trace.
In a move that would make Houdini proud, Kelle made the community’s proxy votes vanish. No discussion, no vote—just her decree. Who needs fairness when you’ve got efficiency? The community didn’t have a say, but hey, that’s leadership for you. In answer to a member’s email asking when that decision was made, Kelle referenced a 2010 amendment. Very dishonest, since proxy votes have been used consistently since that amendment – so saying the decision happened then is lying. The decision was made when Kelle decided it needed to be made.
2. Bylaws and Amendments? Deleted from Memory.
Apparently, old bylaws and amendments were simply cluttering the place. So Kelle, in her infinite wisdom, decided to delete them from existence. Who needs history when you’ve got a one-woman revision team? There’s no need for rules when they can simply be erased by the one person who thinks they know better. We need to start putting edition numbers on our bylaws, since so many different “versions” have been filed with the county since Kelle took power.
3. Corporation—Filed Without Permission.
Why consult the board or property owners when Kelle can just file a new corporation for the association herself (well, with her twinsie Kelly Feral)? After all, the fewer people involved, the quicker things get done. And really, isn’t Kelle (and Kelly) doing everyone a favor by streamlining the process?
4. Interpreting the Law—With Help from Facebook and Google AI.
Need legal advice? Not Kelle. She prefers her legal expertise to come from the hallowed halls of Facebook and the deep wisdom of Google AI. Sure, she might have used the wrong laws, codes, and interpretations a few times, but that’s just a technicality, right? As long as it sounds official, it must be good enough for Camp Branch Acres.
5. Eminent Domain—Because Why Ask?
In one of her more daring moves, Kelle decided to go straight to the 911 supervisor to try and have the county declare eminent domain over Hawg Heaven’s property. Why involve the community when you can just try to take what you want? It’s the kind of bold leadership that leaves property rights trembling in the dust (and our neighbors shaking their heads and fists).
6. Audio Recordings? Not in Kelle’s World!
Kelle’s decree banning audio recordings at meetings was a stroke of genius—except for the minor detail that this can only be prohibited if it’s added to the bylaws, which would require a vote of the property owners. Oh, and did we mention the code she referenced at the beginning of the last meeting was for INTERCEPTING communications, such as when a hacker obtains messages illegally? You would think Kelle and “Dan” would be very aware of those statues. Or that the code she referenced is specifically for telecommunications companies – like Facebook, X, Amazon. This was to keep these companies from using their subscriber’s personal info without permission. But why let facts get in the way of Kelle’s iron-fisted rule? Who needs a vote or legal compliance when you can just declare something into law (even if it’s not legally enforceable)?
7. Rogue Fundraising Committee? Totally Fine.
When Kelly Feral stated at the annual meeting that the fundraising committee was “independent” of Camp Branch Acres, Kelle didn’t bat an eye. No discussion, no concerns about this rogue group raising money in the association’s name, or worse—illegally describing themselves as a charity, or hosting illegal gambling. Why discuss the legality of it when there’s money coming in? That’s just good business sense, right?
8. The Facebook Group Gag Order—Delivered Through Spouses.
In a classic example of indirect intimidation, Kelle allegedly suggested to the Facebook group admins (via their spouses) that it might be time to shut down the group or else. Who needs direct confrontation when you can use family as leverage? It’s a leadership strategy as old as time.
9. Election Delays—Why Bother with Democracy?
When it was time for a new election, Kelle simply decided to delay it. Because, well, why not? It’s not like elections are important or anything. She had more important concerns at that time – like placing Camp Branch Acres in a legal quagmire of unauthorized corporation formations.
Not Surprised
We really shouldn’t be surprised that Kelle thinks what she says goes, no need for discussion. Remember the ethics code she tried to force board members to sign? Those board members weren’t going to be allowed to have an independent opinion, speak their mind, or discuss any “done” decisions in perpetuity. Why let pesky things like opinions get in the way when you can lock them into silence forever?
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