50 Ways to Remove the Chairwoman

This article marks the beginning of a series dedicated to thoroughly examining the numerous reasons why Kelle Rahm should step down or be removed from the board of the Camp Branch Acres Subdivision Property Owners Association. In the lead-up to the next meeting, we’ll delve into an extensive list of illegal actions, embarrassing missteps, and unethical behaviors displayed by our current chair. However, to kick things off on a lighter note, let’s introduce some of these issues with a twist. Today, we’re starting with a parody of Paul Simon’s classic, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” adapted to reflect the many ways Kelle Rahm – and perhaps other key figures – can gracefully exit their role. Consider this a lighthearted but pointed prelude to the serious concerns that will follow.

Set to the music of Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

50 Ways to Remove the Chairwoman

The problem is all in how she leads,
We said to Kelle,
The answer is easy if we
Take action swiftly,
We’d like to help restore some order
And set us all free,
There must be fifty ways
To remove the chair.

We said, “It’s really not our habit to intrude,
But her actions have been shady,
And the bylaws she’s misconstrued,
We’ll spell it out clearly,
So it won’t be met with attitude,
There must be fifty ways
To remove the chair,
Fifty ways to remove the chair.”

You just sign the petition, Rick,
Hold a quick vote, Moe,
Prosecute the crimes, Clive,
And let the board be free.
File a complaint, Nate,
Remove her from the seat, Pete,
Just call for a change, Jane,
And let the board be free.

Petition the board, Floyd,
Hold an open meeting, Keating,
No more shady dealings, Schilling,
We’re all done with thee.
Expose the illegal, Siegel,
Bring it to the people, Steeple,
Just let the truth stand, Brand,
And set the board free.

She said, “It grieves me so
To see this community in pain,
But my favorite $100K bid
Surely will remain,”
We said, “We’d appreciate that
If you could please explain
Why a proposal with no details remained?”

She said, “Why don’t we all
Just text on it tonight,
I’ll declare the proxies void
And call it a board right,”
And then we realized
She was only causing more fights,
There must be fifty ways
To remove the chair,
Fifty ways to remove the chair.

You just sign the petition, Rick,
Hold a quick vote, Moe,
Prosecute the crimes, Clive,
And let the board be free.
File a complaint, Nate,
Remove her from the seat, Pete,
Just call for a change, Jane,
And let the board be free.

Just acknowledge the flaw, Shaw,
Don’t bend Texas law, Rahm,
Stop claiming you’re in awe,
We’ve had quite enough.
Stop making decrees, please,
Step aside with some ease,
Just drop off the gavel,
And let the board breathe.