Speeding Issues in Hawg Heaven

Press Statement from the Esteemed Camp Branch Acres Community

Dear Respected Members of the Camp Branch Acres Community,

In response to the recent communication from our diligent Property Owners Association regarding complaints from our refined neighbors at Hawg Heaven, we feel it necessary to address these pressing issues with the gravity they deserve.

First, we must acknowledge the unparalleled classiness of Hawg Heaven. This fine community is a paragon of law-abiding citizens, proudly boasting a notable number of sex offenders within its idyllic surroundings, a true testament to its inclusive and diverse nature.

Moreover, we extend our hearty congratulations to the incredibly talented individuals who have managed to speed on the marvelously designed temporary road. Its short and rugged nature is a masterpiece of engineering, ensuring that only the most skilled drivers can navigate its challenges with finesse. Clearly, anyone who can achieve high speeds on this treacherous path deserves our utmost admiration.

We understand the profound concern regarding the cost of a truckload of rock, approximately $850.00 per load. Every load is a shining example of our unwavering commitment to investing in the finest gravel experience for our community. The more loads we procure, the more we affirm our dedication to enhancing property values and maintaining the legacy of our prestigious neighborhood.

It is also worth noting that the remarkable issues of speeding and road wear surely never occurred in the tranquil and orderly Hawg Heaven before the residents of Camp Branch Acres began gracing their roads with our presence. Truly, we must be the catalysts of such unprecedented challenges.

As always, we urge all residents to adhere to the highly reasonable speed limit of 30 mph on Big Hawg Road. By doing so, you not only preserve the delicate balance of our precious gravel ecosystem but also demonstrate your unwavering respect for our distinguished neighbors.

With the utmost respect and sincerity,

Your Fearless Leaders